silence is a part of me

There are moments of anguish in which you can't promise anything to the one who's upset. Some people shouldn't be allowed to make promises.

I wish my body was made of ink and smell of words... I wish I had no blood but ink in my veins and write as I speak and speak as I write... to be as explicit as possible. So the words get to where they have to and when they have to.

I want to be made of paper to have my body written. But the rain would ruin me and it'd erase my words instead of inspiring me. I want to touch somebody's heart with a word. But I want to know if it happens. It's useless not to know it. Silence is such a strange thing. I complain of other people's silence. But I myself am quiet. For me, silence is like a blank sheet. A blank sheet doesn't make any sounds. And blank sheets are so easy for me. However, on the other side, I don't even have empty sheets. I don't know if I'd rather see an empty sheet or seeing anything. I can't see a thing and this silence made of "not reading anything" is killing me.

They say silence is a blessing, remaining silent at the right time is a virtue. And I, absolutely am worthless, with no blessings or virtues, I get distorted with silence. It burns me and doesn't allow me to get inside of me.

Enough of this silence. Enough of this talking without saying. Enough of these words that can only be grasped on the threshold of consciousness. But in this case, words are lacking. So, desire can't play harmlessly because it went beyond from normal. Is there something normal here?

What a Heart Rending Video

This video touched my heart by complete surprise. I liked it and Im sobbing my heart out. Awww. I want a tiger cub.=p

Kisah Internet dan Manusia Poyo

Internet problem hari ni. Lalu saya pura-pura busy dan melekakan diri dengan permainan Spider Solitaire.


Jam pertama, OK lagi... Masih leka bermain daun terup.


Jam kedua pun OK....


Jam ketiga dah panas punggung.. Tak study lagik. Adui kenapa la zaman sekarang ni terlampau bergantung kat teknologi?


Jam keempat, dah start mengaruk. Nak download notes la, nak bukak mmls, nak google pasal field theory la..nk topup kat cimbclicks..bla3


Jam kelima.... BODO punya streamyx !!!!


Jam keenam, mereka kata internet dah okay. Terus saya berlari ke laptop. Dengan penuh semangat saya menaip;


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Hujung-hujung baru nk study.



Biasa la manusia... Sembang je lebat..

Define Boredom

Bored of being jobless, bored of the same websites I open everyday, bored of checking my email which none is from whom I am expecting the most, bored of watching the DVDs, and most importantly, bored of studying..ops?

who farted

It happened when I was in the elevator going up to the 3rd floor.

So there were four people in the elevator including me. A stern-looking 40-something man, a Chinese lady of 20-something, a "oh-so-hot" young gentleman, and me.

All of a sudden, an unpleasant smell emerged from God-knows-where.

I turned around to give the 40-something man the look. Who else could I blame? It’s rather rude to blame a lady for farting. And the cute gentleman, even if he did fart, it will be fragrant. lol

The 40-something man wore the I’m-innocent look, but I refuse to believe him. I made a tsk-tsk sound and shook my head to show disapproval. When we reached the 2nd floor, the old man and the Chinese lady hurriedly got out. On the way to the 3rd floor, again the same unpleasant smell aroused. It was then that I knew I had been deluded by a cute-looking man......

Lucky it was only a floor apart. haish What a rip-off.

Early memories of school days

I hated tuition by my mom loved sending me there.

My first ever tuition was at Nuri Tuition Centre. If u see my english now is horrible,you should see when I was 6 that time. I remember vividly one question yang berbunyi

"How many petals are on a Hibiscus flower?"

I was like *wtf is petals? Hibiscus pon aku x tau apa. Bunyik mcm biskut. tapi flower tu confirm lah bunga.!

Ni bunga ke biskut?

Seriously I was that dumb. But that was then.aha.Yet my english improved bolehla lepas setakat nak cakap “yes”, “no”, “allright” atau “Teacher may I go to the toilet?”

Then again when I was in Primary 5 at this another tuiton center. Not actually a centerla more like rumah bujang,rumah pon ala-ala kapal karam.
Anyway, one evening this one chinese boy telah disuruh oleh cikgu to read something from the workbook. Diction dia ni memang fail, haram tak paham. Yang aku ni pulak poyo, sibukla nak betulkan pronounciation(ignore the spelling) orang, budak tu pulak degil. Dah tahu salah tanak ngaku.
At the end, aku bergaduh dengan dia and I end up crying sebab budak tu cakap

“You and your parents can go to hell!”

I bet he really enjoyed what he did because the next day, when he saw me dengan muka keji dia berkata

“Awak dan emak awak boleh pelgi MELAKA!”

And I was like “Hahahaha melaka..haha melakaaaaaaaaaaa..melaka instead of neraka hahaha tak retii cakap melayuu” diikuti dengan gelak-gelak dari satu kelas.

Well,these early memories spur me on sometimes, when I look back and lament about how carefree life was when I was still in the early stages of the education system. Stress drags down spirits, but these memories of early school life help me regain my footing, refreshes my soul with confidence, and I can start afresh again. ^-^